Scared to Say Hi: A Guide for Extroverts with Social Anxiety

Symptoms of Social Anxiety

Have you ever had so much (even if momentary) social anxiety that your voice seemed to fail you? Your confidence, gone? So much so that you left the event early? Didn’t do what you said you were going to do, and left without completing that one thing or talking to that one person? We understand….

As top-performing, highly critical of ourselves, women (with anxiety), we expect to be perfect at all times. Think of the beauty queen who is always so poised, funny, charming…. perfect. Why do we hold ourselves to this high ideal and then judge ourselves so much when we have an off day…

Or, is it that that’s all an act every day, and then when we’re asked to push ourselves to the limits, we break?

Anxiety is pervasive. It doesn’t “chill.”

It also doesn’t ask us first before it decides to hang out. Sometimes for extended periods of time and at the worst times! Right? Totally.

So… you’re this badass awesome, confident, prepared woman by day, but then when it comes to some days, you know the ones… you just don’t feel like yourself. And, you still have to do “the thing” – whatever that thing is. Ughhhh how to deal??? Here is a super quickie guide we put together here at Root Counseling for women extroverts with occasional (yet intense!) social anxiety. (Hint: If this resonates with you, try these out and definitely contact us to schedule a consultation or session right away. We can help you get through some of the more painful parts of life and learn how to approach them with more confidence. Counseling helps.

That said, what should you do on your own?

First… literally, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself (gosh darn-it) that you are amazing, capable, powerful, strong, and that, yes… people like you.

Next, put on your best outfit. It’s not superficial, it’s self-care! What you feel best in is what you’ll feel best in. Period!

Speaking of that… try to plan around your period (like, track it) so that you’re not over committing on weeks that you want to curl up in a ball. 

Pretend you’re happy. Yes, just putting a smile on and pretending you feel great can actually propel you into legit feeling great. Worth a shot!

And…. on that note… don’t take a shot to deal with your nerves… or drink too much for that matter. When you’re anxious and in a group, it can be tempting to sip on that “liquid courage,” but your best bet is to load up on the water, or even bring your own amazing bev in your purse. Start there, then, only after the nerves have subsided, consider whether you want to imbibe or not. You’ll save yourself by going slow. 

Finally? Why not think of a few open ended questions ahead of time in case you get nervous? You might even consider writing them down or even practicing them in the car before your event. It might sound silly, but having a few questions in your back pocket prepared can help you ease out of awkward conversations. A good one is: So, what brought you here? Or, How do you know the host? Etc…. 

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You can definitely do this!!

You got this!

And if you need a boost, or someone in your corner, counseling services are available at Root Counseling here in our Denver offices (in Cherry Creek!). We most often see women with anxiety who are struggling or want to improve in various areas in their lives. Us women need to ROOT for each other.

We’re here for you if you need us!

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