You are worth so much. Truly, you’re priceless. There is actually no other woman just like you. That alone means your worth is sky high. Universe high if you will. So, why do we, as women, devalue ourselves? Many of us are people-pleasers. We want to keep things even-keel, so we go with the flow, sacrificing ourselves in the process.
Others have past trauma from childhood where we were told to always “be good” and not stray outside the lines. If something bad happened, we were the ones to try to fix it by bending over backwards to “make it right” to our parents, peers, or authority figures. And others are perfectionists, criticising themselves constantly and always neglecting to value their worth,
Listening to Your Gut
Your gut has more sensors affecting our mood than our brain, according to Harvard Medical School (and a gazillion other researchers). The first step to knowing your worth is trusting yourself. Trust can come straight from the gut, It’s like a compass. Try listening to it a bit more. And, if you need more time on decisions to check in with that gut, tell people that you “just have to check on one thing”. (They don’t have to know it’s just your gut you have to check in with!)
Negotiating Without Compromising
In life, we have to negotiate all the time. We have trade-offs and have to let some things go. Yet, knowing your worth as a woman includes being able to master this “negotiating without compromising” thing. What does that mean? It means to yes, meet people halfway, but only there. Women tend to be givers, since by nature, we are caretakers. We oftentimes give too much in our negotiations. If someone is asking to meet with you or have you do something, but you had planned to sit around all day on your one day off… that is enough reason to negotiate a different day and time. It’s okay and you need to take care of yourself. Which brings us to our next point.
The Best Word Ever: “No” (or, nicely… thank you, but no.)
Saying no is the best exercise to practice if you are working on your self-esteem. And if you’re unsure whether to say yes or no to something, just revert back to the first item in this blog and check back in with that trusty gut. Saying no gives you space and really helps you match better with your activities. Why do things you don’t enjoy or won’t be 100% present in? It’s actually a favor to your loved ones, colleagues, partner, etc. when you decline invitations or tasks that don’t fit the time, situation, or just aren’t something you’re vibing with at the moment. Self-worth bonus points right there.
And Finally, Receiving Your Worth
Working on your self-esteem is awesome. And while you are, make sure that you are truly receiving the benefits that come from it. For example, if you were strong and kept your schedule low-key instead of saying yes to every single invitation, splurge on that pedicure, or take a bath and pamper yourself. Do something nice for yourself. You deserve it. And… yep, you guessed it, you’re worth it too.
Resources:
Harvard Health Publishing, Harvard Medical School, “The Gut Brain Connection,” 2018.
