As women’s counselors in Denver, those of us here at Root spend a lot of time working with women experiencing loss. Perhaps you’ve lost a job, a loved one, a child or a pet, and are grieving, intensely. Perhaps you fear that you’re losing your marriage, or equally as devastating, losing a relationship that means everything to you. These losses can be sudden, or they can occur slowly and subtly, over years. We are reminded that loss can strike anyone at anytime, no matter how wealthy or seemingly successful they may seem, as we watch celebrities on TV suffer enormously challenging losses.
One thing we know is that our capacity to grieve well is directly related to our capacity to feel joy. This is one of the great paradoxes of life. Somehow, in the suffocating constriction of our suffering, we may eventually learn how to expand our hearts and lives into even greater joy. This takes time though, and when we’re in the loss, it’s hard to feel anything other than the rug of everything we knew being suddenly pulled out from beneath us.
How is suffering related to joy? Research shows that we cannot “shut off” emotions selectively. What this means is, if I ignore and totally compartmentalize my sadness or grief, I also risk compartmentalizing my capacity to feel joy and happiness. Ironically, it’s only by going through the breaking open of grief that we can move to a more expanded space and actually start to feel better. Most of us want to take a shortcut, either by ignoring it, drinking/shopping/drugging it away, doing anything to feel less pain. This is totally understandable. We are human. But if we stay there, we risk falling deeper in to a depression that might get harder and harder to get out of.
It is impossible to move through grief well without significant support from friends, loved ones, and activities that fuel us. However, many grieving women worry that they will burden their friends or partners, that everyone will ‘get sick of me talking about it’ or ‘wonder why I’m not just over it already.’ Nothing could be more harmful than isolating ourselves during this vulnerable time. This is where supportive, tailored counseling for women can help. Those of us at Root have been counseling women for years through some of life’s most challenging struggles. We know, both personally and professionally, what a incredible difference it can make to be supported in our grief.
If you find yourself in a season of grief feeling unsure how to ever get through it, you’re not alone. Give us a call at (720) 363-9188 or Book Online Here. We’d love to support you on your path to wholeness and integration in your beautiful life.
With love and light,
Root
